In the future we'll all be gay
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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