I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
