That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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