suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
