; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
