she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
