Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There r osticjed everywhere
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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