Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
