Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
