i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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