East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
