I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize