Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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