you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
