remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Holy shit dude........stairs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
