We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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