Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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