we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
