I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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