meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
