the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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