Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
