I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
