Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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