***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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