can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
