Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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