people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
