Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
