I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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