Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
