I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
it's great music for shaving your balls
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
