I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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