Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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