I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
