i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
