Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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