she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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