Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
