yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
