Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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