Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
