So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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