i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
