You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
