over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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