Im at strip club and am horny
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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