She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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