You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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