Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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