youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
