you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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