Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize