I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can you bring me the toilet please
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
