If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
