I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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