When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
