Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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