There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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