her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
