Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
